Let's Enjoying Biking!

There are a bunch of senior Australian bikers who are biking from the EXPO in Nagoya to Hiroshima, and today they made a stop in lil ol' Kameyama. I was asked to be present to: 1) be the token foreigner, 2) give a short speech (which I found out about 5 minutes before they got there), 3) chat with people and such, and 4) translate. Yes, that's right, translate. For those of you familiar with my Japanese speaking abilities, you might wonder what the hell they were thinking. So was I. I'll get to that.

A teacher who used to work at my Junior High asked me to attend this thing a little while ago. She had me write a speech for her, and asked me to attend. I got out of a morning of just sitting at my desk doing nothing, so I figured "hey, that sounds great". When we got there, she showed me around a bit. The area is called sekisuike (or maybe sekisuite) which roughly translates to "the place where there are rocks and water". Very picturesque, with beautiful scenery, and, yes, a nice clear stream running over some beautiful rocks.

So I get there, and we basically do a lot of waiting around. About 5 minutes before the bikers get there, the teacher (Okuda) I guess chickens out, and asks me to give the bulk of the speech (her English is very understandable, but far from perfect, and I guess she was nervous). Anyhow, there's one other person there (Yanagida) who can also speak English there, and she's kind of half-translating for both of us. Then the deputy mayor (DM from now on) shows up, and he asks me (through Yanagida) to translate a speech for him. Buddy, did you not just see that what you said had to be translated to me? As in I don't understand Japanese that well? As in it's a really bad idea for me to "translate" for you? I guess he didn't care. Either that, or he's racist (Yanagida is Portuguese; the Portuguese foreigners are often treated much worse than white forgeiners) or sexist (did I already mention that Japan was a bit of a sexist country?), or both (or maybe he's just a moron).

Now here comes the funny part:

After pointing out to them that I could not even begin to tranlaste for the DM, Yanagida and Okuda both acknowledge that me translating is a terrible idea. I guess in Japan what the "big man" (DM in this case) says goes, without question. So, Yanagida kind of explains that he would be giving a "polite typical introduction speech", and so I can kind of just say what I think would be important. To this I respond "so you want me to pretend I'm translating?" to which they emphatically respond: "yes". I burst out laughing. They thought it was pretty funny too, but apparently it makes more sense for me to make up a speech than for them to point out to the DM that his idea isn't so hot. I guess maybe the DM just wanted a white foreign guy to speak on his behalf to the other white foreigners.

Anyhow, the DM (once people have had tea and settled down and stuff) stands up on one of the chairs to give his speech, and I duly "translate" for him. I thought I was doing a pretty good job, but he was starting to go on for a while, and I was running out of things to say (read: make up). Fortunately Yanagida quietly sidles up behind the DM, and when I look to her for help, starts whispering what he's going on about to me as he's saying it. So, between the real-time translation from her, the constant looks to me from the DM indicating that I should speak now rather than when Yanagida has finished, my broken Japanese, his various actions, and my guesswork, I figure I nailed about 10% of what he actually said, and probably made him seem like a decent guy with the other 90%. I only really messed up one thing (that I know of), and it wasn't a big deal. Then I gave my speech yadda yadda yadda, had lunch went back to school and taught a class.

So basically I had a really great morning, and Yanagida later invited me to participate in baby rice planting with Asian exchange students (who, funny enough, speak better English then they do Japanese, which is why they want me around, I guess). The afternoon was not so hot, as I had a meeting with my boss. Stay tuned for next blog entry entitled "why my boss is a moron", followed by pictures from my trip to Tokyo, and other fun and exciting stuff.

ps I have 44 working days left in Japan after today